Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

If you’ve been to Disneyland, then you’ll understand the reference to Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

So, work wanted me to go to New Hampshire. I woke up before dawn had the inkling to crack and had a bowl of the cereal we always find on the floor at church, but I don’t spill any. It was early, I was tired, and my stomach was reminding me of the midnight snack it asked for a few hours earlier. Cheerios was simple, quick, and enough to quiet my tummy and get me on the motorway (That’s a fancy word for “road” that I’m using so that my trip within the U.S. sounds more exotic.).

I got in the car and buckled my safety belt. After all, it is the law – “Click it or Ticket.” I’ve always thought seat belts were a good idea and never understood the offense some people seem to take at the idea that the government says they should wear one. I once thought about making a belt for my pants with a seat belt buckle; one of the buckles from an old car so it would be more stylish.

After parking at San Francisco International Airport, I hiked down to the ground level, taking the elevator for some added button pressing exercise (“And one, and … Oh, I guess I only have to press it once.), and hopped on a shuttle.

I think shuttle drivers all go to the same driving school, where they are trained in taking off as soon as the last passenger’s second foot leaves the sidewalk. Our driver took corners like the best of them – sending everyone inside swinging from side to side. Those standing (with me among them) had the toughest time of it until they got their shuttle legs. Shuttle legs are similar to sea legs, but more prone to complete failure – that’s why bars are in there to hold on to. The shuttle had to get on and off the freeway because Long Term Parking is an exit North of the airport, so while all those “safe” drivers were speeding along with their safety belts clicked, us shuttle riders were hanging on for dear life. I now understand why those things that leave the Earth’s atmosphere are also called shuttles (Of course, astronauts get safety belts in their shuttles).

Once on the plane, it was back to “Please keep your safety belt secure while seated.” Most of the turbulence that I’ve felt on planes was the equivalent of driving over potholes in the road (I know of several patches on 101 that worse than turbulence). I know turbulence can be worse on planes, but they have you buckle up while you are doing the equivalent of driving over potholes. Meanwhile, people are careening down 101 in shuttles being operated by ex race car drivers with nothing more than shuttle legs and a bar to hold on to.

(I apologize to anyone who uses a feed reader since you may be seeing this post multiple times. There were some formating issues due to writing up the post in Microsoft Word. I promise not to do that again.)